Department of Human Services Developmental Disabilities Services
Keeping an Eye on Mom:
When is Senior Living on the Horizon?
If you are currently a local or long-distance caregiver of an older relative, you may be wondering if it’s time to consider independent or assisted living. When you have serious concerns about their health and wellness or their ability to maintain their property, it might be time to look into options. Unfortunately, this is a delicate subject for many seniors, who fear a loss of independence. Keep reading for more things to look out for and how to have the conversation without hurting your relationship.
Is Help Enough?
Even if you have a team of family and friends that can help you keep tabs on your senior loved one, sometimes it’s not enough. Here are a few questions to ask yourself on your next in-person visit:
● Is my loved one properly nourished? Look in the refrigerator. If the food is old – or there isn’t enough – they may no longer have the ability to grocery shop for themselves.
● How is their hygiene? One of the more embarrassing side effects of declining health is hygiene problems. Poorly kept hair, unbrushed teeth, and body odor are all signs of declining hygiene.
● Does my loved one seem happy? People with dementia often deal with depression and anger, even in the early stages of cognitive decline.
● Are there falling hazards in the house, and can they be safely navigated? Cords, rugs, and poor lighting all contribute to your loved one’s risk of facing a serious falling accident. Although there are plenty of exercises to improve strength and balance, if you notice your senior having trouble getting around these obstacles, they are still at serious risk of falling.
● Are they lonely? Senior loneliness and isolation can have a negative impact on your loved one’s overall health. And even if they have people checking on them every day or so, they can feel isolated and shut out from the world.
It’s Time To Talk
Once you have discreetly evaluated your senior’s health and wellness along with their current living conditions, you may decide that you need to have a conversation about assisted living. Keep in mind this is a touchy subject for many seniors. Don’t dive right into listing off all the reasons you think they can no longer care for themselves. Start by mentioning assisted living casually. Perhaps note a recent commercial or that a friend's parents are enjoying their own new accommodations.
As the situation progresses, explain to your loved one why you feel assisted living is the best option. Let them know that you are still there for them, and that you feel they’ll be happier without having to take care of the house, cook, clean, or manage household bills. You can also point out all of the activities that are available to seniors in a community setting, such as on-site fitness, planned excursions, and game nights.
Something that your loved one may be concerned about immediately is whether they’ll be able to keep their pets. Be assured that there are many senior communities that accept animals as long as certain conditions, such as behavior, size, and breed, are met.
Most of all, remind your parents or grandparents that they are not losing their independence but simply letting go of the baggage that keeps them from living their best life.
Deciding to move your loved one into a new environment is a tough decision. But it is one that you may have to make out of love. Evaluate their situation and be gentle when the time comes. If you still have questions or need additional resources, see below for useful links that can help you through the process.
● Dementia: Is This Dementia and What Does It Mean?
● The Dangers of Senior Isolation
● Senior Services & Options: What’s Out There?
● Having the Conversation About Assisted Living May Be Easier Than You Think
● Home Care May Not Be Cheaper than Assisted Living or a Nursing Home
- Julia Chan
Is Help Enough?
Even if you have a team of family and friends that can help you keep tabs on your senior loved one, sometimes it’s not enough. Here are a few questions to ask yourself on your next in-person visit:
● Is my loved one properly nourished? Look in the refrigerator. If the food is old – or there isn’t enough – they may no longer have the ability to grocery shop for themselves.
● How is their hygiene? One of the more embarrassing side effects of declining health is hygiene problems. Poorly kept hair, unbrushed teeth, and body odor are all signs of declining hygiene.
● Does my loved one seem happy? People with dementia often deal with depression and anger, even in the early stages of cognitive decline.
● Are there falling hazards in the house, and can they be safely navigated? Cords, rugs, and poor lighting all contribute to your loved one’s risk of facing a serious falling accident. Although there are plenty of exercises to improve strength and balance, if you notice your senior having trouble getting around these obstacles, they are still at serious risk of falling.
● Are they lonely? Senior loneliness and isolation can have a negative impact on your loved one’s overall health. And even if they have people checking on them every day or so, they can feel isolated and shut out from the world.
It’s Time To Talk
Once you have discreetly evaluated your senior’s health and wellness along with their current living conditions, you may decide that you need to have a conversation about assisted living. Keep in mind this is a touchy subject for many seniors. Don’t dive right into listing off all the reasons you think they can no longer care for themselves. Start by mentioning assisted living casually. Perhaps note a recent commercial or that a friend's parents are enjoying their own new accommodations.
As the situation progresses, explain to your loved one why you feel assisted living is the best option. Let them know that you are still there for them, and that you feel they’ll be happier without having to take care of the house, cook, clean, or manage household bills. You can also point out all of the activities that are available to seniors in a community setting, such as on-site fitness, planned excursions, and game nights.
Something that your loved one may be concerned about immediately is whether they’ll be able to keep their pets. Be assured that there are many senior communities that accept animals as long as certain conditions, such as behavior, size, and breed, are met.
Most of all, remind your parents or grandparents that they are not losing their independence but simply letting go of the baggage that keeps them from living their best life.
Deciding to move your loved one into a new environment is a tough decision. But it is one that you may have to make out of love. Evaluate their situation and be gentle when the time comes. If you still have questions or need additional resources, see below for useful links that can help you through the process.
● Dementia: Is This Dementia and What Does It Mean?
● The Dangers of Senior Isolation
● Senior Services & Options: What’s Out There?
● Having the Conversation About Assisted Living May Be Easier Than You Think
● Home Care May Not Be Cheaper than Assisted Living or a Nursing Home
- Julia Chan
